


Coming Out Of The Dark

by LarielRomeniel



Series: Let The Music Play [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Legion of doom - Freeform, Magic, fixit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarielRomeniel/pseuds/LarielRomeniel
Summary: The Legion is done for, but Leonard Snart still isn't free. Follow-up to "Knife Dance" and "A Spot On Your Dance Card."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, many thanks to Jael for the beta on this.

 

It was finally over.

Damien Darhk and Eobard Thawne were dead. Malcolm Merlyn was locked up in the Waverider’s brig, heavily sedated. The hostages were safe; once freed, Lisa Snart and Quentin Lance had even joined in the fight against the Legion’s goons while Caitlin Snow and Cisco Ramon protected little Sara Diggle.

And Leonard Snart…

Leonard had collapsed right after Sara stabbed Darhk through the heart, terrifying her with the thought that she might have killed the man she… cared for… along with the man who’d killed her sister.

She’d stood frozen with fear as Mick knelt next to his partner and looked for any sign of life. When he called out, “He’s still breathing!” she let out a sob of relief, drawing a stare from Lisa, who’d also knelt next to her brother.

Now he lay in the Medbay, still unconscious, as Rip studied the readouts on the medical display. Lisa sat on a stool on Leonard’s right side, Mick beside her with his hand on her shoulder.

Sara hovered in the entryway behind them. Rip noticed her as he turned back to Lisa and Mick. “Sara, is your father all right?”

She nodded and walked into the Medbay. “He had to put on the deputy mayor hat and help Ollie with the mop-up,” she said. She moved to Leonard’s left side, next to Rip. “How’s Leonard?”

Rip shook his head. “There’s no physical reason for him to be unconscious like this,” he said.

Leonard’s eyes started to twitch under the lids. “It’s starting again,” Lisa said in a worried voice.

“What is?” Sara asked.

“Mr. Snart is beginning to dream,” Gideon replied. “He is seeing you as a child, Miss Snart, at a park.”

Lisa reached out to fold her brother’s hand in her own. “I’m here, Lenny, I’m here.”

His breathing was becoming more rapid. Sara glanced over at the display. “His heart rate and blood pressure are up.”

“These are normal changes during dreaming,” Gideon said.

“Yes, and look,” Rip said, gently opening one of Leonard’s eyelids.

Sara took in a breath to see a blue-green iris under the lid, moving back and forth.

“But the changes won’t stay normal,” Rip murmured, still holding the eyelid open.

Leonard’s heart rate continued to rise, and the readouts started flashing red. As they did, the eye turned dead black, just as it had been when she’d removed his goggles on that rooftop. No white, no iris, just an inky black.

“The dream has changed,” Gideon reported as Rip let the lid close again.

“What’s he seeing now?” Sara asked.

Lisa shut her eyes tightly, as if in pain, and Mick snapped, “Don’t answer that, Gideon!” He shook his head at Sara. “Believe me, Blondie, you don’t want to know.”

“I wish I could forget what she told us last time,” Lisa said bitterly, leaning into Mick a bit for support.

Rip sighed and rubbed the side of his face. “Sara, we’ve seen this three times now since Mr. Snart was brought on board. He begins to dream of something pleasant in his past, and the dream is somehow… _replaced_ with a nightmare.”

Leonard moaned a little, then gasped, and his heart rate began to fall again. His eyes stopped moving under the lids. Lisa sighed in relief, but Rip didn’t seem to share her sentiment. He frowned at the readouts.

“Whatever they did to him, it’s altered his brain chemistry,” he said. “His neurotransmitter levels are all over the chart.”

Sara looked at the readings, but they conveyed nothing to her. “What does it mean?”

“I think this is how the Legion was controlling him,” Rip said. “Chemical reactions control everything our brains do, from making decisions to accessing memories. If they interfered with those processes enough…”

“They could make him forget who he really is, and implant whatever personality serves their purpose,” Mick concluded. “That’s not too different from what the Time Masters did to their bounty hunters.”

From the look in his eyes, Sara knew what he’d left unsaid. _What they did to me._ “Are you sure we can’t just wake him up?” she asked.

Rip shook his head. “I don’t dare, Sara. This is not a normal sleep, and there’s no telling what would happen if we interrupted it. And beyond that… we don’t know who he’ll be when we wake him.”

“He could be our Snart, Blondie,” Mick told her. “Or he could be the Legion’s Captain Cold.”

“But Damien Darhk is dead,” Lisa protested. “Doesn’t that mean his control over Lenny is dead too?”  
  
“It’s not that simple, love,” came a new voice from the hallway.

John Constantine strolled into the Medbay. He stood at the foot of Leonard’s bed and looked around the group. “Sorry to take so long getting here. Esrin and I had to make sure we’d collected all of Darhk’s little toys.

“Now, to your question,” he went on, pointing at Lisa. “This isn’t a fairy tale, where killing the wizard kills the spell. If that sort of thing were true, the pyramids at Giza and the Great Wall of China would have collapsed long ago. And Venice would be under water.”

He walked up the left side of the bed, Sara and Rip stepping back to give him room. “Darhk left something behind to keep the spell going even after his death. Sort of like an autopilot. And now that I’ve seen his collection of magical bits ‘n bobs, I think I know what it is.”

He raised his right hand and passed it over Leonard’s prone form, starting at the top of his head and walking all the way down to his feet, then back up again, stopping with his hand over his chest. “There. There’s something here that shouldn’t be.”

He dropped his hand and turned to Sara. “Can I borrow one of your knives, love?”

Constantine cocked his head and held out his hand when Sara gave him an uncertain look. She shrugged, pulled a knife from her boot and handed it to him. He nodded and turned back to Leonard, grasping the neckline of the unconscious man’s pullover and sliding the knife under it. “Apologies to the man’s tailor,” he said.

“Snart’s got a dozen more just like that one,” Mick growled. “Just get on with it.”

Constantine nodded and slit the shirt from neck to hem, baring Leonard’s chest. “I thought so,” the magician muttered, while Lisa and Rip gasped in horror. Mick grunted like he’d taken a punch to the gut, and Sara spat out an old League curse upon the soul of Damien Darhk.

The image of the Askaran amulet was burned into Leonard’s skin, right over his heart. It was shiny, and the edges were oozing. Sara felt her gorge rising and swallowed hard to force the bile back down.

“ _What did that bastard do to my brother?_ ” Lisa hissed, a tear trailing down her cheek. Her knuckles had whitened slightly as she tightened her grip on Leonard’s hand.

“Branded him with the Askaran amulet,” Rip said in a shocked tone.

“To control him?” Sara asked.

“Yes, but I don’t think controlling this man was Darhk’s endgame,” Constantine said, handing the knife back to her. “Darhk was just using him as a test subject. If it worked, and if the Legion managed to knock your hero teams out, he could move on to bigger targets, like world leaders.”

“To do what?” Mick asked. “Control them?”

“In essence,” Constantine agreed. “He’d use the amulet to invade their dreams, weaken their wills and eventually take over their waking minds.”

“How can he do that?” Lisa asked. 

“Ever hear of a dream catcher?” Constantine dug into a pocket inside his coat and pulled something out. It looked like a webbed hoop, just a little larger than his hand. “The Ojibwa Indians make these to hang over their beds. The web is for catching bad dreams, and the hole in the middle…” he touched that section of the web, “lets the good dreams go through.”

“You carry one of those things around with you?” Mick asked with a raised eyebrow.

Constantine shrugged. “Never know when you’re going to get a chance for a kip, mate.”

He stuffed the dream catcher back in his pocket, and looked clinically at the brand on Leonard’s chest. “Now, you can think of the Askaran amulet as sort of a reverse dream catcher. It blocks the good dreams and lets the bad stuff through. It works really well when there’s already a lot of bad stuff in the victim’s subconscious. And looking at your friend, that seems to be the case here.”

The ugliness of the brand had drawn Sara’s attention away from the other scars on Leonard’s torso, but now she noticed them and took in a pained breath. Cigarette burns, badly healed gashes and stitch marks were scattered over his skin, some of them trailing under the waistband of his jeans or the remains of his shirt.

“We had a crappy childhood,” Lisa said simply, in a tone that warned not to ask questions. Mick caught Sara’s eye and gave her a barely perceptible shake of his head to reinforce the warning.

Constantine’s mouth thinned in a grim line. He said, “Well, that just gave Darhk plenty of ammunition. Someone branded by the amulet can be controlled by the bearer. He can use their own memories and worst nightmares against them. Even from beyond the grave.”

“You mean Darhk is still controlling Mr. Snart?” Rip asked.

“The spell he left behind is,” Constantine answered. He laid his right hand on Leonard’s forehead for a moment and closed his eyes, cocking his head as if listening to something. After a moment, he pulled his hand back and opened his eyes. “And before you ask, it’s not so simple as just destroying the amulet. The spell is inside his head.”

“So can you _fix_ it?” Mick demanded.

Constantine hesitated, and Sara huffed in exasperation. “Come on, John, you restored my soul after I _died_!” She disregarded Lisa’s stunned look and went on, “Leonard’s not dead, and his soul is still here, right?”

He nodded. “It is. We don’t have to fix that. But this is a different kind of magic, Sara, one I don’t know a lot about.” He paused and sighed. “Bloody hell. I’m going to owe Esrin for this.”

“You won’t,” Lisa said firmly, rising from her seat. “I will.”

Mick nodded in agreement. “And me.”

“We all will,” Sara said, and Rip nodded as well.

“Mr. Snart was… _is_ an important part of our team,” he said. “Whatever price Madam Fortuna wishes to exact from us, the crew of the Waverider is willing to pay it.”

Constantine looked at each of them in turn, holding their gazes for long moments. Finally he sighed and inclined his head in acceptance. “Right, then. I’ll just go have a chat with Esrin,” he said, and left the Medbay.

Lisa carefully moved the torn pieces of Leonard’s pullover back over his chest, covering up the scars and the terrible brand before laying a hand against her brother’s cheek. In a trembling voice, she asked, “Did you really mean that?” She looked searchingly at Rip and Sara. “Did you mean what you said about paying whatever this woman wants?”

“Yes,” Sara answered, as Rip said, “We did.”

Lisa looked disbelieving. “But… why? I can understand Mick, but… Leonard’s not _your_ family.”

“Yes, he is,” Rip contradicted, while Sara hesitated for a moment, not quite sure how to explain her own relationship to Leonard.

Lisa was obviously as sharp as her brother, catching the hesitation. She smiled slightly. “I think you and I have something to talk about,” she said, pointing at Sara.

Mick smirked. “Come on, Rip. Let’s leave the ladies to their little talk while we go and fill the team in.” He reached out to squeeze Lisa’s shoulder once more and moved to the entry.

Rip glanced at the medical readouts one more time. “Gideon, please inform me of any changes in Mr. Snart’s condition.”

“Of course, Captain,” the AI responded. The men nodded at Sara and headed down the passageway.

The two women stood looking at each other in an awkward silence. Then Gideon said, “Mr. Snart is starting to dream again.”

They both looked down to see Leonard’s eyes moving under the lids once again. He smiled, just a little.

“What’s he seeing?” Lisa asked.

“He is dreaming of Miss Lance kissing him at the Oculus.” 

Leonard gave a hum of pleasure before catching his breath in a pained gasp and falling silent. “The dream has changed,” Gideon said. “It’s now…”

“Don’t, Gideon,” Sara ordered. Leonard’s little sister looked upset enough as it was. “Lisa, are you all right?" 

The other woman’s eyes flicked back up to meet Sara’s. “Mick told me Lenny died at the Oculus. Or, I guess, almost died. He didn’t mention anything about a kiss. Or was that just Lenny’s imagination making it all up?”

Sara smiled sadly. “No. Mick was knocked out, so he didn’t see it, but I did kiss your brother at the Oculus… right before…”

Lisa nodded. “Thought it was something like that.” She looked back down at Leonard’s sleeping face. “Just full of surprises, Lenny,” she murmured to him. “What made you decide to become a hero?”

“I don’t know all of it,” Sara said. “But I’ll tell you what I can.”

Lisa met her eyes and nodded again. Sara perched on the other Medbay bed and began telling Lisa a story of card games, confidences and kisses.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was appropriate for Halloween. Again, thanks to Jael for looking it over!

Three times, Sara’s story was interrupted as Leonard went through cycles of dreams and nightmares. His breathing had just returned to normal for the third time when Rip and Mick returned. Ray was with them, carrying a stretcher.

“What’s that for?” Lisa asked, wiping her eyes. Leonard had called her name during the last nightmare, in a tone that broke Sara’s heart.

“Madam Fortuna says she cannot break Darhk’s control here aboard the Waverider,” Rip told them. “Something about its future tech interfering with the flow of the mystical energy she needs.”

“So we need to go to her,” Ray said, flipping the stretcher down so Mick could take one end. “Our ride’s waiting outside.”

Sara and Lisa helped Rip to carefully move Leonard onto the stretcher. Then they followed Mick and Ray through the passageway to the external hatch.

Night had fallen. Oliver, Thea and Diggle stood at the foot of the ramp, still in their leathers, but their masks were off.

“The rest of your team went ahead of us with your father,” Oliver told Sara.

“Where’s Malcolm?” Thea asked.

“He’s in the brig, sedated,” Rip told her. “Nate and Amaya are keeping an eye on him.”

“I’ll help,” Thea said. “I need to give him a little daughter-father lecture before we drop him in a deep, dark hole.”

She gave Sara a quick hug before disappearing into the Waverider. Oliver and Diggle helped load the stretcher into the van Sara recognized from so many adventures. She took a seat between Rip and Oliver in the back, with Mick, Lisa and Ray on the other side of the stretcher. Once everyone was on board, Diggle climbed into the driver’s seat and started the van up.

“So where are we going?” Mick asked as the van began to move.

“A place in the Glades where Madam Fortuna says she can best tap into the power she needs to undo Darhk’s handiwork,” Oliver answered flatly.

Mick narrowed his eyes. “Why are you lookin’ so sour about it?”

Sara studied Oliver. Mick was right; he did seem… sour. Angry, even. “Ollie, what is it?”

“This isn’t the first time we’ve dealt with Esrin Fortuna,” Diggle called back. “She’s been less than helpful before.”

Oliver huffed. “That’s putting it mildly. She tried to train me to resist Darhk’s powers, but gave up almost as soon as she started. And she wouldn’t ever help us directly. But she’s willing to help _you_.”

“Not for free,” Mick noted. “This gives her a marker against a bunch of time travelers. Probably a better deal than you could have given her.”

“Maybe,” Oliver said. “But Laurel might still be alive if Madam Fortuna had helped us before.”

Sara’s eyes widened at Oliver’s declaration. Rip put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. “No, Mr. Queen. You’re wrong there. Gideon and I analyzed the timelines very carefully when we brought Sara back to 2016. Esrin Fortuna’s involvement would have made no difference in Laurel’s death, but it could have had a serious negative impact on the future. Things happened as they were supposed to happen.”

“So have you analyzed the timeline for tonight?” Diggle asked. “Do you know what’s supposed to happen here?”

Rip shook his head. “Gideon is programmed not to show me things in my personal future. Like tonight. We all still have to live linear lives.”

“So you can’t tell me if the Rockets are going to win the championship, or if my baby girl is going to marry some slime ball,” Diggle said, a smile in his voice.

“I’m afraid not, Mr. Diggle,” Rip answered with a smirk. “You’ll have to find out the hard way.”

The van slowed and stopped. “Well, we don’t have to wait too much longer to see if Madam Fortuna can out-spell Damien Darhk,” Ray said. “We’re here.”

Oliver pulled his mask and hood back into place. “Not exactly a place Mayor Queen should be spotted,” he said before opening the back doors to the van.

A small crowd was waiting for them: the rest of the Waverider crew; Barry, with his cowl in place; Cisco, Caitlin… and her dad, who wrapped her in a tight hug. “You okay, baby girl?”

She smiled up at him. “I should be asking you that. You took quite a hit from that guy with the baseball bat.”

He winked at her. “You know it takes a lot more than a ‘Legion of Doom’ or a baseball bat to take this old man down, sweetheart.” He looked past Sara toward Lisa. “And you!”

He released Sara and took two quick steps to give Lisa a hug too. “You were amazing during that fight. Almost as good as a Canary, and I should know. I’m their father!” He glanced over the van, where Barry was helping Mick and Ray to take out the stretcher. “How’s your brother?”

Lisa looked over at Leonard with a worried expression. “I don’t know. I don’t really understand any of this.” She paused and took a step back toward her brother. “Sara, it’s starting again.”

Leonard’s eyes had started twitching. The two women moved to either side of the stretcher, Lisa taking his right hand and Sara taking his left. While still on the ship, they’d found the contact seemed to ease his transition from dream to nightmare, though it didn’t break the pattern.

Whatever he was seeing in this unnatural sleep, it didn’t last long. Leonard groaned weakly after a minute and his eyes stilled again. Lisa let out a shaky sigh. “Sara, what if we don’t get him back?”

“We’ll get him back,” declared John Constantine. Sara turned, and for the first time really noticed where in the Glades they were.

The van was parked in front of an abandoned stone church. Its windows were boarded over, its walls painted with graffiti. Constantine stood at the top of the entry steps, in front of the door.

The church’s name plaque was still legible. “Saint Gregory Thaumaturgus,” Sara read. “Isn’t thaumaturgy another word for magic?”

Constantine grinned. “It is indeed! Saint Gregory was known as the Wonderworker. And also a saint of lost causes. So this is appropriate all around.”

Mick glared at him. “You sayin’ my partner is a lost cause?”

Constantine held up his hands and shook his head. “Not lost, mate. Just… difficult. His dark past won’t make it easy.”

“There’s good in him,” Barry declared, his mouth taking a stubborn set under his cowl. “The darkness wasn’t his fault.”

Caitlin spoke up, almost timidly. “I can’t believe I’m saying this about the man who kidnapped me, but he protected us from the others in the Legion.”

Cisco added, “You should’ve seen what he did to Merlyn for slapping little Sara because she was crying.”

“Merlyn did _what_?” Diggle growled.

Cisco smiled. “Snart made him pay for it, trust me.” He looked over at Lisa, and Sara was surprised by the emotion in his eyes. “Barry’s right. There’s good in him.”

“You must believe in that for this to work.”

Esrin Fortuna had emerged from the church, looking regally down at the group. “There is no room for doubt in the dreamwalking. If you have doubt in this man, then do not enter these sacred grounds.”

She looked over the group one more time before turning and walking back into the church.

Diggle snorted at her haughtiness. “You say the man defended my little girl?” he asked.

When Cisco and Caitlin both nodded, he said, “Then I owe him one.”

He moved next to Mick to take one handle at the head end of the stretcher. The two men exchanged a nod and began leading the way up the stairs, Barry and Ray carrying the other end.

Sara exchanged a glance with Lisa, and the two women followed Leonard up. Sara paused at the top of the stairs to look back. Nearly everyone was ascending the staircase.

Everyone except Oliver, who remained at the bottom.

Sara murmured to Lisa, “Go in. I’ll be right there.”

She took a few steps down the staircase, passing Stein and Jax, who glanced back in curiosity. She waved them on and stopped halfway down the steps. “Ollie…”

His expression under the mask was… uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Sara,” he said. “I know… I know he means a lot to you. And I know everyone on your team believes he’s reformed.”

“Even Barry believes it,” she replied, “and he should know better than most.”

Oliver nodded. “I know that too. And believe me, your opinion… and his… both count for a lot. But I’ve spent too many years _not_ trusting people, even the ones who are closest to me.”

He sighed. “I’m not like Barry. I can’t get rid of all my doubts, no matter how much I want to. You heard Madam Fortuna. There can’t be any doubt.”

He took a step up the stairs, then another, so his eyes were level with hers. “I’ve seen how you look at him, Sara. I understand what he means to you,” he said quietly. “I can’t be the reason you don’t get him back. Do you understand?”

She studied his blue eyes for a moment, and then nodded. “I do. Thanks, Ollie.” She leaned forward to kiss his cheek, then turned to run up the stairs and into the church.

She passed through the littered vestibule and into the main sanctuary, halting for a moment to take in the scene lit by scattered candles. A scent of incense hung in the air.

The church was nearly bare of furnishings and artwork, most of it apparently having been removed when it was abandoned for a friendlier neighborhood. All that was left was a huge stone altar table. Leonard lay on the table, her friends grouped around it.

Esrin Fortuna acknowledged Sara’s arrival with a single nod before speaking. “This man’s spirit is being held hostage through evil memories and the darkness of his past.”

As she spoke, she walked around the table in a wide circle, motioning to the onlookers to move out of its perimeter. Constantine followed her, drawing the circle of her footsteps in chalk on the floor.

Esrin looked carefully at each person she passed. “But there is a way to free him, through a shamanic journey. I will take three of you with me on this dreamwalk,” she said, stopping in front of Lisa and touching her shoulder. “Three tied to him through bonds of blood…”

She walked on to Mick and touched his shoulder. “And of brotherhood….”

She stopped in front of Sara to touch her shoulder. “And of love.”

Sara’s breath caught a little; she’d never actually put the word “love” to her feelings for Leonard. But Oliver had seen something, and this stranger…

When she looked around the circle at her Legends teammates, there were no expressions of surprise. Barry and his friends simply grinned, while Lisa’s lips twitched in an almost-smirk, so like her brother’s.

And her father… “Your teammates are a bunch of gossips,” he said with a smile. “Not that I hadn’t already figured it out by the way you acted when he collapsed.”

He shot a hard look at Esrin. “This dreamwalking… is it dangerous?”

The woman tilted her head elegantly. “It can be, if a walker gets lost in the dreamscape,” she said.

She nodded to Constantine, who had finished drawing his chalk circle and had picked up a large drum and drumstick. “The rhythm of a heartbeat will be our guide,” she said. “All of you will need to lend your spiritual strength to these walkers. All your goodwill. All your hope. All your love.”

Her expression became stern. “But you must not enter the circle, no matter what occurs.”

She held her hand out to Sara. “Come with me,” she said.

Sara gave her father a slight smile and a nod before taking the shaman’s hand. Esrin led her into the circle to stand at Leonard’s left, then did the same with Lisa. “The two of you hold his heart,” she said.

She turned to Mick and led him to Leonard’s right side. “You are his strength,” she said, and Mick nodded.

Esrin walked around the table once more, this time parting Leonard’s torn shirt so the brand of the amulet was visible. There were gasps from some of the watchers. Barry pushed his cowl back with a sickened expression, and Stein murmured, “Dear God!”

Esrin moved to stand at Leonard’s head, while Constantine stood at his feet. The two magicians nodded at each other, and Constantine began to beat on the drum with a steady, monotonous rhythm.

Esrin raised her arms over Leonard’s prone form, splaying her fingers wide. Light began to stream from her palms, playing over his body as she chanted in a language Sara didn’t recognize.

The brand over Leonard’s heart began to glow.

In a strangely modulated voice, Esrin intoned, “We are gathered here through the bonds of friendship and of brotherhood. We are gathered here through the ties of blood and of love.”

The drumbeats seemed to become louder, more hypnotic. The scent of the incense seemed to get heavier. The light from Esrin’s hands became more intense, and her voice got louder too. “We seek to enter the realm of dreams, to free this man of the Askaran enslavement.”

Leonard’s mouth opened in a gasp, and the brand became even brighter.

“We call on the elder hearts to lead us to the spirit of Leonard Snart, and then to return us safely with him to the waking world!” Esrin shouted.

Sara saw Leonard’s body arch on the stone altar. 

Then she was blinded by the light flaring brilliantly from Esrin’s hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some things you just can't make up. St. Gregory Thaumaturgus is one of them. I was looking for patron saints of lost causes and was stunned to find him on on the list.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To come into the light, one must first conquer the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took much longer than I expected, mostly thanks to real life getting in the way. 
> 
> This chapter is angsty. You may want tissues.
> 
> Many thanks to Jael for the beta and some great suggestions!

Sara blinked to clear her vision. When she could finally see again, she was no longer in the church. Instead, she stood in a large candlelit cavern, pillars and a double set of stairs carved out of the rock. Lisa and Mick were on either side of her. 

Esrin Fortuna stood at the top of one side of the stairs, looking down at them. Constantine was nowhere to be seen, but the steady sound of the drumbeat went on, more faintly than before.

“What is this place?” Lisa demanded, looking around. “Where’s Lenny?”

“And where’s the Brit?” Mick added.

Esrin smiled just a little. “This is Star City’s nexus chamber,” she answered. “A place where primordial energy is gathered.”

Sara furrowed her brow. “Ollie told me that was destroyed,” she objected.

Esrin gave her a slight nod. “Yes, the one in the physical world was destroyed. But we are in the spirit world now. Constantine is ahead of us, standing at the gateway between this realm and your own. His drumbeats will guide us to find your lost one’s spirit, and then bring us all home again,” she said. “For now, you must prepare yourselves for what you will see when we find Leonard’s spirit.”

“What do you mean?” Sara asked.

“You already know the Askaran amulet blocks all dreams of kindness, friendship and love, replacing them with memories of guilt, betrayal, shame and fear,” Esrin told them. “The pain of these memories keeps him in darkness. You will each need to conquer those dark memories to bring him back to the light, but those memories will bring all of you pain as well.”

Lisa’s chin lifted defiantly. “Lenny always protected me. It’s my turn.”

Esrin nodded and looked at Mick. “You will see things he has kept hidden… even from you, _churri_ , his oldest friend.”

“You said I’m his strength,” Mick said. “I’m not gonna leave him in the dark.”

Now Esrin’s gaze settled on Sara. “And you, _amor_?”

Sara took a deep breath. “For better or for worse,” she said.

The shaman smiled and nodded. “The rhythm of Leonard’s heart will guide you.” She motioned to Lisa. “ _Mijita_ , lead the way.”

Lisa nodded and started up the stairs. The others fell in step behind her. As Lisa passed Esrin at the top, there was a ripple, and Lisa vanished.

Mick and Sara froze, looking over at Esrin. She merely cocked her head and gestured for them to proceed. Sara took a deep breath, reminding herself that Leonard was depending on her courage, and stepped forward.

It felt like passing through a sheet of cold rain, but she was still dry when she got to the other side. They were not in the nexus chamber anymore. Instead, they stood in front of a two-story house, blue paint peeling from its clapboard siding. She could still hear the steady beating of Constantine’s drum in the distance, but it was faint compared to the sounds from within the house:

Angry adult voices...

A loud crash…

And a child’s cries of fear.

Sara couldn’t make out the words beyond _“please”_ and _“no,”_ but the look on Lisa’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“It’s my turn,” the other woman growled before charging up the stairs and through the front door. Sara and Mick were a step behind, following her into a living room that might have been cozy at some point in time. Perhaps when nearly every available surface wasn’t littered with old newspapers, empty beer bottles and fast food wrappers. Perhaps when the wallpaper wasn’t peeling away from the wall.

Lisa strode past all the mess, through a narrow pantry into a kitchen that was, unbelievably, messier than the living room. But Sara forgot about the unwashed dishes and smell of rotting garbage when she saw what was sprawled on the floor in front of Lisa.

The woman looked like Lisa Snart; the same blue eyes, the same dark hair. But her eyes were fixed and staring, and the hair was matted with blood… blood that pooled on the floor. Blood that stained the corner of the Formica countertop where the woman must have hit her head.

Blood that covered the hands of the young boy who knelt beside the woman. “Please, Mom,” he whimpered. “You’ve gotta get up.”

He shook her shoulder, as if he could shake her awake. When that didn’t work, his face crumpled. He wiped away the tears rolling down his face, leaving crimson smears on his cheeks.

Lisa started to crouch next to the boy, but stopped at the sound of another voice saying, “It’s my fault.”

The light had changed around them. Sara looked up and saw most of the kitchen had disappeared. The dirty vinyl floor turned into one of stone, and the walls vanished into darkness. Only the boy and his mother remained, in a pool of light. He was frozen in the act of touching his mother’s cheek.

Leonard… the adult Leonard… stood halfway in the shadows, staring down at what could only be his younger self. “I didn’t want to go on a job with Dad. Mom tried to stop him from forcing me, and he…”

A shuddering breath. “I couldn’t stop him. He hit her and… she fell… and…”

Sara put a hand to her mouth. She knew Leonard had endured so much as a child, but not that he’d seen his mother murdered in front of him.

Lisa rose again and went to her brother. She reached out tentatively to lay her hands on his shoulders, letting out a little sigh when she actually made contact. “Lenny, it’s _not_ your fault.”

He was staring past her to the scene on the floor. “It _is_ my fault. If I’d just gone with him like he wanted…”

“ _Leonard_ ,” Lisa said sharply, her hands moving from his shoulders to frame his face, forcing him to look at her. In a softer voice she said, “You were ten years old when Mom died, Lenny. You are not responsible for the things that man did. You never were.”

“I should have protected her.”

“Then you might not have been around to protect _me_ ,” Lisa answered. One more time she whispered, “It’s not your fault.”

Leonard stared at his sister for a long moment, finally giving her a slow nod. The scene around them vanished.

So did Leonard.

“You did well, _mijita_. He has carried that guilt for many years.”

Esrin Fortuna stood before them in another room of stone. Torches burned on the walls, and there was an archway just behind her, to her right. The sound of Constantine’s drum could be heard through the arch.

Lisa blew out a shaky breath. “Lenny never told me…”

“There were a lot of things he never told you,” Mick said, looking as sick as Sara felt. When Lisa looked over at him, he continued, “But he never told me this one either.”

“How old were you?” Sara asked Lisa softly.

“A little more than a year,” Lisa said. “Dad and Lenny only said she’d died in an accident. And we didn’t have any pictures, so I never knew that I looked like her.” She grimaced. “No wonder it was so easy for him to plant a bomb in me.”

Sara shuddered a little. She couldn’t imagine a father hating his own child so much for something she couldn’t help.

“Next time we’re in Central, I’m going to piss on Lewis Snart’s grave,” Mick said.

Esrin smirked at him. “Just make sure you don’t do it on Halloween _, churri_ ,” she said. “For now, you must follow the drum.”

Mick nodded. “Come on,” he said to the women, and disappeared through the archway.

Literally.

This time, it felt like passing through a shower of hail as Sara followed Mick, with Lisa just behind them. They emerged into a dingy jailhouse visiting room. There was a man seated at one of the windows, waiting. After a moment, the security door on the other side of the glass opened. A guard ushered in a small, skinny boy with a black eye and a split lip.

The sight gave Sara a sinking feeling. Leonard had told her he was the smallest kid in Juvie by far, but this boy… he was still a _child._ Not all that changed from the young boy she’d seen weeping next to his dead mother.

Except _that_ child didn’t look as broken as this one did. Not just because of his injuries. His body language screamed defeat. Young Leonard trudged with slumped shoulders over to the seat opposite the waiting man. He picked up the phone on his side of the glass. The visitor did the same.

“If you look like this, son, the other guy had better have two black eyes and some broken teeth,” the man said.

So _this_ was Lewis Snart. Sara sidled over to get a better look at the man scowling at his son through the window, and decided he looked a bit like a ferret. A ferret with a very nasty disposition.

She glanced over at her companions. Lisa’s fists were clenched tightly. Mick just glowered at the scene.

The boy’s eyes were downcast as he mumbled something she couldn’t hear into the phone. Lewis Snart slammed his free hand against the glass, making Leonard jump. “Don’t lie to me, boy! I got contacts with the guards in here! I already know somebody else had to save your ass!”

Young Leonard slumped in his seat even more than before. Lewis leaned forward. “You _look_ at me when I’m talking to you, boy!”

Leonard looked up, and Sara’s heart broke at the tears in his eyes.

Lewis had no such sympathy. “First you’re stupid enough to get yourself caught and thrown in here, and now look at you,” he snarled. “ _Crying?_ You’re weak. Pitiful. You disgust me.”

He leaned back in his chair and stared at the boy in cold appraisal. “You’d better keep that Rory kid around,” he said. “You won’t make it to your next birthday without him.”

Lewis Snart slammed the phone back onto its hook and stalked out of the visiting room. His son stared after him for a moment, then scrubbed at the tears that had spilled over.

The light changed, and the boy froze in place. The adult Leonard stood at the edge of the pool of light around his 14 year old self. “I wasn’t strong enough,” he said.

“Forget pissing on Lewis Snart’s grave,” Mick growled under his breath. “I’m gonna dig him up and piss on his fucking _corpse_.”

He moved to stand in front of his partner. “Boss, don’t you believe anything he said. Not for one minute. Not _ever_.”

Leonard was still staring at the boy. “I should have been able to defend myself.”

Mick snorted. “You did take out two of them before I even got there. But he thought you should have taken all four? Bullshit.”

“I never should’ve cried in front of him. It was weak. Being weak gets you hurt.”

Mick sighed. “Look at me, Boss.”

Leonard’s gaze shifted over to Mick, who said, “There’s more to being strong than just being able to kick ass. You are the strongest guy I know. Who else would’ve stood at the Oculus and held that damned stick till the thing blew?”

A ghost of a smirk crossed Leonard’s face. “You.”

Mick chuckled. “That was just me being stubborn and pissed. You… you’ve always been strong enough to do what was right for your crew.”

He leaned a little closer to Leonard. “Any idiot can use muscle. But real strength comes from the brain….” Mick tapped his temple, “and from the heart.” He reached out to tap Leonard’s chest. “And you’ve got more of both of those than anybody I know. Who else woulda kept a loser like me around for thirty years?”

“You’re not a loser....”

“And crying isn’t weak,” Mick said gently. “I’ve learned something since the Oculus, Boss. Feelings might hurt… but not showing them hurts more.”

He moved his hand to Leonard’s shoulder. “You weren’t wrong, ever. _He_ was.”

Leonard looked away for a moment, swallowing hard. Then he looked back to give Mick a single nod.

Once again, the scene vanished.

“I thought you two didn’t have hearts, _churri_.”

They now stood in an enclosed garden lit by a full moon. Sara could smell the night-blooming jasmine climbing up the walls. Esrin stood beside a wrought iron gate. The drumbeats continued in the distance beyond the gate.

“I used to think that,” Mick answered. “Guess I’ve learned a heart isn’t such a bad thing to have after all.”

The shaman nodded. “And you’ve taught your brother that as well.”

“Who’d ever have thought you would teach Lenny something?” Lisa asked with a slight smile.

Mick huffed out a little laugh. “Guess I’m not as stupid as I used to be. Time Bastards did one thing right, anyway.”

That got one of Esrin’s enigmatic smiles. “All things have a purpose, _churri_.” She turned to Sara. “Are you ready, _amor_?" 

Sara took in a deep breath. “Guess it’s my turn to lead,” she said.

Esrin nodded and turned slightly, gesturing toward the gate. Sara strode to it and pushed… but the gate resisted. She frowned and pushed harder, and harder still, and suddenly the gate swung open, sending Sara stumbling forward.

This time, it felt like moving through a sheet of ice. Sara shivered after pushing her way through it… then froze at the scene before her.

This time they were in a virtually spotless kitchen, the walls a bare white, clean and cold, no flotsam scattered about. Even the papers on the table in front of her were arranged tidily. But Sara wasn’t really registering the blueprints and neat timetables there. Instead, she was focused on the couple on the other side of the table: Leonard and a tall, redheaded woman wrapped around each other, kissing passionately.

Sara closed her eyes and turned away, only to feel Mick’s strong hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, into hazel eyes that sympathized with the pain she felt. He squeezed her shoulder and nodded back over at the kissing couple.

She set her shoulders and nodded back. If this was one of the memories that kept Leonard under Darhk’s dead hand, then she’d watch it and do whatever she had to do to remove its power over him. She turned back around, willing herself to watch the scene clinically.

Or as clinically as she could, anyway.

Leonard was pressed back against the kitchen counter, his arms around the woman, his hands running up and down her back. But she was definitely the aggressor here, her arms wound about his neck to pull his mouth to hers. She drew one leg up to begin grinding against him, drawling a muffled groan from him. His hands slid to her waist. He pushed away from the counter, lifted her by the waist and turned to sit her on the counter. But before she could wrap both legs around him, he stepped back just a little, breaking their kiss but gently cupping her cheek with one hand.

“Alexa, I would love to do this all day…”

“And all night?” she inquired archly.

“That too,” he answered as she turned her face to drop a kiss onto his palm. He hummed in pleasure, then let out a sigh. “But we need to finish with this timetable. Let’s figure out how we can get out of the warehouse without killing anybody, and then…” he caressed the side of her face, “I’m all yours. Any way you want me." 

“Promise?” she asked in a sultry voice.

He just chuckled before he turned back to the kitchen table, giving Sara her first good look at this version of Leonard Snart. He was in his 20s, with no gray in his dark hair yet. He looked healthier and better fed than he had as a child or a young teenager.

And _happier._ She couldn’t see any trace of the beaten-down child of the last memory. He was actually smiling. Not smirking… it was a genuine smile. 

But Sara also knew the name _Alexa_ meant bad things to her version of Leonard Snart, and steeled herself for wherever this memory was leading.

Leonard picked one of the papers up off the table as Alexa slid off the counter. “We’ve been over those timetables dozens of times, Len,” she said.

“And we’ll go over them dozens of times more until we figure how to get out clean, so we’re long gone before anyone realizes we’ve been in there,” Leonard said mildly, still smiling as he studied the chart. “I’m not interested in a bloodbath. It’ll just bring more heat and raise the odds that we get caught. This time Saturday, I want us to be on a plane to Paris, not hiding out from a citywide dragnet.”

Alexa slid her arms around him from behind and nuzzled the nape of his neck. “You worry too much,” she said. “Sometimes people have to get hurt for us to get what we want.”

Leonard’s smile faded away. He stiffened and put the paper down slowly. “What did you say?” he asked in a tight voice. 

She smiled. “We both know there are casualties in our line of work,” she answered, her hands running over his chest.

He grabbed her hands to stop their movement. “That’s the shit my father says!” he growled. “Almost word for word!”

She smirked and kissed his neck. “Well, they say father knows best.”

Leonard’s expression turned thunderous as he turned to face her. “Not my father,” he said, still holding her right wrist.

“Oh, come on, Len. You didn’t think that when he taught you how to disable an alarm system.”

Leonard pushed her away from him, taking a step back at the same time. “I never told you he taught me about alarm systems.”

Alexa stared at him for a moment. Then she shook her head and chuckled wryly. “He warned me you were smart,” she said.

Leonard’s eyes widened. “What?” His voice had dropped to a whisper.

Alexa shrugged. “Your dad. Said to be careful because you were very, very smart. Guess I let my guard down and forgot to keep my story straight.”

“My father? _He_ put you up to this?”

Another laugh. “You should be flattered. He says you’re becoming real competition for him. So he asked me to… distract you.”

“Asked you or paid you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Everything comes with a price, Len.”

“He wanted you to get me into a job where Mick and I would get caught, or maybe even killed,” Leonard growled in low, clipped tones Sara remembered only too well. It was the same voice he’d used when he drew the Cold Gun on her at the Vanishing Point.

Alexa just nodded, either not knowing or not caring how far she’d just pushed him. “I told Lewis you could get killed. He didn’t seem to care either way.” 

Leonard stood utterly still for a moment, processing that. Then, “And… this?” He motioned between the two of them.

She smiled. “Oh, that was an added bonus for me. If it makes you feel any better, you’re a lot more fun than your dad.”

She stepped forward with the obvious intent to kiss him, but Leonard stepped away from her, his eyes blazing blue with anger. “Get the fuck out of here,” he hissed.

She chuckled again. “See you around, Snart,” she said, blowing him a kiss before walking out. Sara could hear a door open and then slam shut.

Leonard turned back to the table, trembling as he stared down at the blueprints and timetables, his fists clenched so tightly the knuckles were white. Then he grabbed the largest of the blueprints and tore it apart.

“ _I was in love with you!_ ” he shouted. He ripped up another blueprint, then swept his hand across the table, sending the rest of the papers flying.

The heartbroken young Leonard was left standing frozen in a circle of light as the memory ended.

“She didn’t want me for _me_ ,” said the older Leonard. This time, he was standing farther back in the shadows, as if ashamed.

Sara wiped tears away and strode over to him, taking both his hands to pull him into the light. “No, she didn’t,” she agreed, giving his hands a squeeze. “But that’s not your fault. That’s all on her.”

He stared at his shattered younger self. “I shouldn’t have ever let her in. I shouldn’t have…”

“Fallen in love?” She smiled a little when he looked down at her. “You were young, Len, and starved for love almost your whole life. And… I can admit it,” she said with a chuckle, “she was gorgeous. It’s no wonder you fell for her.”

She released one of his hands to reach up and touch his face. “And now I understand why it took so long for you to let _me_ in. I know how much it hurts to be used like that,” she said. “I want you to know that I want you for _you_. And that _is_ all your fault.”

She framed his face with both hands now, rising up on her toes. With a sigh, he slid his arms around her and dipped his head, his lips meeting hers in a gentle, healing kiss.

Leonard’s arms were still around her when they parted and she opened her eyes. His hold on her loosened a little as he took in their surroundings. They were back in the Star City nexus chamber. This time, they were at the top of the stairs, and Esrin stood at the bottom. The drumbeat went on, louder than before.

“Well done, _amor_ ,” said Esrin.

“Does that mean we get to go home now?” Mick asked. “I’ve got a grave to dig up.”

Esrin’s mouth twitched a little at that.

“Mick’s right,” Lisa said. “We’ve got Lenny back. Now I want to find that Alexa bitch and claw her eyes out.”

Esrin held up one hand. “There is one more memory to defeat, _mijita_ , before we can leave the spirit realm.” She fixed her gaze on Leonard. “This one is for you, _cariño_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Arrow, Esrin used the word "amor" to address Felicity. I felt she would do the same with Sara, and would use other Spanish terms of endearment for Mick and Lisa that would be appropriate to their places in Leonard's life. "Mijita" is "my little girl" (and since Leonard raised Lisa, that's not far from the truth), and one of the translations for "churri" is "partner."
> 
> "Cariño" is a common term of affection for men, as well. One of the translations is "darling."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait for this! I had to get into the right mood, and wound up just sliding this one in before Leonard’s return on “Legends” tonight! Many thanks to Jael for the beta. Also, thanks to Cold To My Flash on Tumblr, for some very insightful analysis of “Family of Rogues” and the relationship between Leonard and Lewis Snart. That was extremely helpful in writing this chapter.

Incredibly for an abandoned church in the Glades, Saint Gregory’s still had one intact, unboarded window, high in its bell tower. The stained glass was probably still in one piece simply because it was so far off the ground. Too much trouble for the casual vandal.

Certainly it wasn’t because of some kind of respect for what the building stood for, Oliver reflected, watching the window glow with flaring light from inside the church, in counterpoint to a steady drumbeat.

Of course, he’d been wrong before, he thought, shifting position on the van’s open tailgate. He’d been too cynical in his assessment of some people, too trusting in his assessment of others. If he’d learned anything in the years since he donned his green hood, he’d learned he wasn’t much of a judge of character.

He glanced at the parka Ray had left behind in the van, then looked back at the church, hoping he was wrong about Leonard Snart.

* * *

Leonard stepped away from Sara, narrowing his eyes at Esrin. “So, what? You’re going to rummage around in my mind and find one more trauma for me to relive?” He took one step down the stairs. “Who are you to go poking around in my memories, anyway?”

Esrin merely smiled at him. “I have not touched your memories, _cariño_. That was the work of Damien Darhk, who used your own darkness against you. Now that darkness keeps you in the dream realm, even though he is dead.”

She took one step up, still looking up at him. “You must find the light in your soul to find your way back to the waking world.”

Leonard snorted at that. Esrin chuckled in amusement. “You think you have no light?” She waved a hand toward Sara, Mick and Lisa. “These who love you would disagree. And so do I.”

She took another step up. “I am an immortal shaman, and I know the difference between one who is truly dark and one whose light is merely hidden.”  
  
Leonard took another two steps down, so he could look Esrin directly in the eyes. “And if I find this… light… the nightmares will be gone?”

Still smiling gently, Esrin replied, “They will not vanish, _cariño._ But they will no longer give the spell power over your conscious mind. Cut the strings, if you will.”

“No strings? That’s all I want. I’ve been living with nightmares all my life,” Leonard answered. Sara felt a pang at his matter-of-fact acceptance of those nightmares. Then he asked, “And if I fail?”

Esrin’s smile disappeared. “This is a prison of your own mind, Leonard Snart. Your friends can help you find your way, but in the end you must free yourself. Failure now will only lead to more self-doubt and more failure, in an endless cycle. Your spirit will remain trapped by the Askaran spell.”

“Meaning someone else could control him?” Sara asked.

Esrin looked up at her. “If someone else was to obtain the amulet, yes.”

“No!” Leonard said sharply. He looked up at Mick and Sara. “No one controls me, ever again.”

“What if we destroy the amulet?” Lisa asked.

Esrin shook her head. “If his body and spirit aren’t joined first, the body will die, and the spirit will remain lost.”

Mick asked, “And if you just lock the amulet away where no one can get it?”

“The same. More slowly, but the same.”

Leonard’s mouth set in a grim line as he considered these options. “And what would happen to them if I fail?” he asked, nodding over toward the others.

“Their spirits are not bound,” Esrin replied. “They will return to the waking world.”

“They’ll be safe?” When Esrin nodded, he let out a sigh of acceptance and looked back up at the others. “All right, then. If I can’t…”

“Don’t talk like that!” Sara protested, taking the few steps down to Leonard’s level. She took his hands. “I left you behind before, Len. I’m not doing it again.”

“You would never give up on me,” Lisa added.

Leonard looked up at Mick, who just shook his head. “I’m with them, Boss. We came into this to get you, and we’re not leaving without you. I made a promise to Blondie about getting you back, and I’m damn well keeping it.” He took a step down and leaned closer to Leonard. “Come on. Let’s do this thing and go home before that fucking drum drives me out of my mind.”

Leonard looked at each of them one by one, finally nodding and squeezing Sara’s hands before releasing them. He turned back to Esrin, who turned slightly and gestured down the stairs, to the shadows beyond the circle of candlelight. “To find the light, you must dare the darkness,” she said.

Taking a deep breath, Leonard went down the stairs and vanished into the darkness. Sara followed and shivered as she walked into a bone-chilling pocket of air that offered no resistance.

They’d passed from the nexus chamber into a cavern of ice. And they weren’t alone. A man stood waiting for them.

Sara didn’t need to hear Mick’s low growl or Lisa’s sharp intake of breath, or to see Leonard’s sudden stiffening to put a name to this man. She recognized the eyes, the cold dark eyes that had looked with such disdain on the teenaged Leonard Snart.

They looked at the adult Leonard with the same disdain.

Without those eyes, she’d never have recognized him. Time had dealt with Lewis Snart just as cruelly as he had dealt with his children. He was a ruin of a man, slim frame gone to flab, with lines of anger and hate drawn across his face.

That face was sneering at them now. “I’d say long time no see, son, but I know you see me in your nightmares all the time.”

Sara knew what she was seeing wasn’t real, but she still tensed as this…shade of Lewis stepped closer to Leonard and said in a low voice, “And I know what you’re really afraid of.”

“You’re dead!” Lisa exclaimed defiantly. “We don’t have to be afraid of you anymore!”

Lewis looked over at his daughter with a smirk. “Oh, but that’s not what your brother is afraid of.” He looked back at Leonard. “Is it, son?”

Lewis turned and waved a hand. A sheet of ice rose from the stone floor, like a frozen screen, and an image began to play on it, showing Leonard standing in some dark industrial building with three other men.

_“Screw this, screw you. I’m out.”_

A gunshot rang out. The Leonard in the image took a breath, then said, _“Well if you’re out, you’re out.”_

The scene changed.

_“Who else knows you took this?”_

_“Just us.”_

_“No. Just me. Sorry, pal.”_

The image Leonard fired the Cold Gun, then disappeared from the ice.

Lewis turned back to them with a smug look. “Remember the first time I had you kill a man, son? I thought you were going to piss your pants. Never thought I’d see the day when you could actually shoot someone in cold blood.”

He walked away from the ice screen, and it sank back into the floor. “Of course, those guys were just vermin, and vermin are easy to kill. _This_ is what really makes me proud.”

Lewis waved his hand again, and another sheet of ice rose from the floor to show another image from the past, of Leonard firing the Cold Gun at random people, while a red-and-yellow blur sped around, getting the bystanders out of the line of fire.

All but one.

Leonard took a deep breath and looked away from the sight of the security guard frozen to death by his Cold Gun. His hands clenched into fists.

“I always told you that ‘no shooting guards’ rule of yours would land you in a heap of shit. Glad to see you ignored it for once,” Lewis gloated.

Leonard took a breath, unclenched his fists and met Sara’s eyes. “I didn’t mean… I thought the Flash would be able to save him too. Killing that guard wasn’t part of my plan.”

“You and your _plans_ ,” Lewis scoffed. “Always trying to prove you’re better than me. Always running away from the truth that you’re so scared of: That you _are_ just like me.”

From the pain in Leonard’s eyes, Sara could tell the shot hit home. She shook her head in denial while Lisa snarled, “He’s better than you!”

Lewis just chuckled. “Well, little girl, I’ll give him this: He’s got a certain style.” He turned back to the screen of ice, where the image had changed, showing Leonard in full Captain Cold mode, in a standoff with the Flash on a train car.

_“See, while you’re busy saving everybody, I’ll be saving myself.”_

Leonard turned away from the screen, mouth set in a tight line and his hands returning to fists as the train derailed. Sara stepped over to him and laid a gentle hand on one arm, trying to convey without words that she would never judge him for his past.

Just as he’d never judged her for hers.

Lewis chuckled at the replay of the train wreck. “Impressive, son. Even if nobody died.” 

Leonard nodded to Sara. “I’d had enough time at the station to figure out which train had the fewest people on board, so the Flash could get them all out,” he said quietly.

He stepped away from her and turned back to Lewis. “Something you’d never bother with.”

Lewis shrugged, and the sheet of ice sank into the floor. “You want to fool yourself into thinking you’re somebody noble, boy? You’re not and you’ve always known it.”

Another ice sheet rose, revealing another image. 

_“You seem to have a problem being a killer. I, however, don’t.”_

Sara shook her head. “But you did have a problem with it, Len. You could have hurt me, but you didn’t.”

“Don’t kid yourself, girlie,” Lewis chortled. “You were just saved by the bell. My son knows he’s no angel.”

The scene changed. Leonard winced as he saw himself standing over Barry’s prone form.

_“I’m a criminal, and a liar. And I hurt people, and I rob them.”_

“That’s not you anymore, Boss.” Mick laid a hand on Leonard’s shoulder and jerked his head over toward Lewis. “And you’re not him. You know that. And so does everybody who really knows you.”

“Remember what the shaman said, Lenny,” Lisa added. “You’re not truly dark, not like him.”

The scene on the ice screen changed: Barry Allen’s earnest face.

_“There’s a part of you that knows you don’t have to let your past define you.”_

The scene changed again, showing them Stein sitting with Snart at a card table.

_“Like father like son isn’t always inevitable, Mr. Snart.”_

Lewis snorted derisively. “They wouldn’t say the same if they’d seen you talking Rory here into going on that fool trip.”  
  
_“We could steal the Mona Lisa off da Vinci’s easel. Snatch the Hope Diamond before it was discovered. This is everything we got into thieving for in the first place. More than everything.”_

Leonard threw his hands up. “Sure. I went on the Waverider for the score. I told Rip from the start that I wasn’t any hero. But like I also told Mick… people change.”

_“They’re going to kill our friends.”_

_“Despite your bravado, Mr. Snart, the actions that I witnessed last night were nothing short of heroic.”_

_“After last night I know enough about being a monster to know that you’re not one.”_

“Jax is right,” Sara said, stepping close to Leonard again. “A monster wouldn’t have stopped me from killing Stein in Russia. A monster would have let me freeze to death in that engine room instead of giving me his coat.”

She reached out to take one of his hands. “A monster would never have done what you did at the Vanishing Point.”

The ice screen changed, but neither Sara nor Leonard paid it any attention, focusing on each other instead as the scene from the past played out.

_“Get him out of here!”_

_“No!”_

_“Just do it.”_

Even with Leonard standing right in front of her, this was… hard to listen to. Sara felt the tears gathering and spilling over. Leonard reached up with one hand to brush them away.

_“Shut it down!”_

_“There are no strings on me.”_

Sara could hear Lisa choke back a sob. 

_“He traded his life for ours. He was a hero. Which I’m pretty sure is the last thing he wanted to be remembered as.”_

“But you were,” Sara said, laying a hand on Leonard’s cheek. “And you are. No matter what your father did or what Damien Darhk did. You are a hero to all of us, and they can’t take that away from you.”

Leonard covered her hand with his own, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “All my life, he did everything he could to keep me down, trying to take the fight out of me and make me think I was nothing. And for years I believed…”

He paused, opening his eyes and looking at Lisa. “ _We_ believed that we weren’t good enough. That we were stupid and defective, because that’s what he told us.”

He gave Sara’s hand a squeeze before releasing it and moving to stand in front of Lewis, glaring down at him coldly. “Then when I was old enough to know better, old enough to get away, you found other ways to hurt me and manipulate me. But you’re dead, and those days are _over_.”

Lewis sneered again. “The past will always be with you, boy.”

Leonard returned the sneer. “Maybe so. But it doesn’t have to define me. _You_ don’t have to define me. You don’t _get_ to define me.” Leonard’s voice dropped to a bare whisper. “You have no power over me.”

The shade of Lewis Snart vanished as the icy walls around them dissolved. Esrin was waiting for them in the nexus chamber again.

And this time she wasn’t alone.

“You choose the strangest movies to quote from, mate,” John Constantine declared from the top of the stairs.

Leonard pointed over at his sister. “Her favorites when she was little.”

Mick furrowed his brow at the magician. “If you’re here, who’s beating that damn drum?”  
  
“Oh, I am, but never mind that. We have bigger fish to fry,” Constantine returned. “This spell isn’t going to let your friend... or any of us… go all that easily. Darhk added a little twist.”  
  
He pointed behind them. They whirled to see four figures moving out from the shadows: Thawne, Merlyn, Dahrk… and Vandal Savage.

“You want out of the dream realm?” Darhk asked.

“You’ve got to go through us,” Thawne finished.

“Can’t fry these fish without my Heat Gun,” Mick growled.

Esrin chuckled. “This is the dream realm, my friend. You can have whatever weapon you want.”

Sara smiled as a bo staff materialized in her hands. The smile grew bigger when she heard the familiar whine of the Cold Gun, and Mick’s low “ahhh” of pleasure.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Mick said, firing his Heat Gun at Savage. “I only got one chance to kill you before!”

“And I didn’t get any!” Leonard shouted, firing his Cold Gun. “I want my crack at him too!”

Sara wanted to laugh at the way Mick and Leonard fell back into their old banter, and the easy way they all moved together as they fought these imitations of their old enemies. Even Lisa slipped into what felt like a well-choreographed dance, firing what had to be her Gold Gun, and Constantine got a few licks in as well.

She could tell the others felt it as well, from the smiles on the faces of the Snart siblings to Mick’s exclamation once the foes were defeated.

“That… was… _AWESOME_!”

Their enemies were gilded, frozen or burnt… or some combination of all of them. Lisa smirked at the sight of Savage: charred on one side, solid ice on the other. Leonard and Mick had both gotten their shots at him.

“Reminds me of the first Thanksgiving turkey you two tried to cook!” she said teasingly to them.

“I kind of like this one,” Sara said, gazing at the ice sculpture that had been the shade of Damien Darhk.

“You were all impressive,” Esrin allowed. She hadn’t joined in the battle herself, letting it play out before her. Now she walked among the defeated adversaries, smirking at Thawne’s frozen legs and golden torso, and then looking speculatively at Malcolm Merlyn’s completely golden form. “This one may be a rotten human being, but he makes a nice statue. Too bad we have to leave it here.”

Leonard sidled up to Sara to study his handiwork. “After what Darhk did to me, I think just freezing is too good for him. Even if it isn’t really him,” he said. He held a hand out to her. “Can I borrow your staff?”

She chuckled and pulled it apart, handing him one of the batons. “You go high, I’ll go low,” she said. 

He grinned as they sauntered to opposite sides. “On three?”

She nodded and gave the count. Together, they smashed the batons into the frozen figure. As it shattered, the chamber filled with brilliant light, blinding her.

When her sight returned, they were back in the abandoned church, standing around the altar. Leonard was still lying on it, eyes closed, a ball of light now hovering over him. At a gesture from Esrin, the ball sank down over Leonard’s heart and spread over the brand of the Askaran amulet. Then it lifted away from his chest, taking the horrific mark with it and dissolving in midair, drawing gasps and exclamations of surprise from their friends standing at the edge of Constantine’s circle.

As the light faded away, Leonard drew in a deep breath and opened his eyes. _His_ eyes, the blue-green that Sara knew so well. Not the black-on-black of the spellbound Leonard Snart.

Constantine dropped the drumstick and shook out his arm while Sara and Lisa helped Leonard to sit up. “Bloody hell, that was exhausting!” the magician complained. “Esrin, I don’t think I’m going to be able to use this arm for a month!”

Esrin just rolled her eyes at Constantine as she moved around the altar to stand in front of Leonard. “Welcome back to the waking world, Mr. Snart,” she said. “I told you your light was merely hidden.”

Leonard chuckled wryly. “Stop, you’re going to blow my reputation!” he said, sliding from the table into his sister’s embrace. Sara hung back a little, until Lisa made a noise of fond exasperation and pulled her into a three-way hug.

“You blew that reputation yourself when you blew up the Oculus,” Barry said as he and the other watchers approached the table.

Leonard held up an admonishing finger. “Don’t you _dare_ say you told me so, Barry!”

“I don’t have to,” Barry returned, settling for a smug grin. “You already know it. You’re a hero.”

“A legend,” Rip corrected.

Stein added, “And thankfully a living one.”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, fine. Have it your way. Can we just go home now?” He picked at the remnants of his pullover, trying to cover himself, and Sara could see his discomfort at being so exposed in front of so many people.

“Your ride is waiting for you,” Oliver announced from behind them. He walked up the altar, holding up a familiar blue parka to Leonard, who accepted it with a nod and put it on. “I saw the sound-and-light show was over and figured it was safe to come in,” Oliver continued.

He met Sara’s eyes. “Glad to see it worked,” he said sincerely.

Esrin chuckled. “This one could teach you a few things about finding your light, Mr. Queen,” she said. She looked at Leonard. “It has been a pleasure, _cariño_.”

She passed through the small knot of heroes and Legends, stepping off the altar platform and walking toward the church door.

She vanished before she reached it.

“Okay, I’ve seen some weird stuff in the past six years, but that’s got to be the weirdest,” Quentin said.

“That’s Esrin. Light up a room and leave,” Constantine said with a laugh. “Captain Hunter, she’ll come to collect on her debt in her own good time.”

Leonard glanced sharply around at his teammates. “ _What_ debt?”

“One we all agreed on, Mr. Snart,” Stein replied.

“We’ll talk about it later, boss,” Mick told him.

Leonard let out a huff, but acquiesced when Sara shook her head slightly, repeating Mick’s words. “We’ll talk about it later. Promise.”

“Right now, if we’re done with all the hocus-pocus,” Mick continued, “I’ve got an appointment with a certain corpse.”

“Hate to disappoint you, Mick,” Lisa said, one corner of her mouth lifting in a sly half-smile. “But the Central City coroner had Lewis cremated. And I dumped the ashes at the sewage plant outside of town.”

A few of their companions shifted uncomfortably at this news. Not Team Flash, but Sara already knew they’d dealt with Lewis Snart and his misdeeds. And certainly not Mick, who did look disappointed. But Jax and Ray were both surprised at Lisa’s casual venom for her father.

“If you’d known him, you’d understand even that was too good for him,” Lisa said, just shaking her head at their expressions.

“Lisa’s right,” Leonard said. He shrugged. “I don’t know if there’s a hell, but this way we know he burned, and ended up right where he belonged… in a pile of crap.”

Constantine let out a sharp laugh. “Oh, there is a hell, mate. Been there a few times. And... I think I did see your dad there.”

He furrowed his brow in thought, then snapped his fingers. “Yes, I remember now! I did see him there. But he wasn’t burning.” He paused and grinned widely. “He was freezing.”  
  
Leonard’s eyebrows shot up as he digested that information. “Well, that’s… appropriate,” he said slowly. “Hope I won’t end up in the freezer next to him.”

Constantine laughed again, shaking his head. “I think that stunt I heard about at the Vanishing Point gave you a ‘get out of hell free’ card. As long as you don’t go mucking it up from here on out.”

He glanced around at the others. “Think you lot can help him with that?” He stepped closer to Sara and leaned in toward her conspiratorially. “Especially you, love?”

Sara smiled, meeting Leonard’s eyes. “Well, he’s kind of stubborn about people telling him what to do. But…” she winked, “he also knows I can kick his ass.” 

There was a chorus of variations on, “We’ll help!” from their friends. But somehow, as Leonard smiled and winked back at her, she knew she wouldn’t have to take them up on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an epilogue left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This epilogue turned out to be much longer than I'd expected. Many thanks to Jael for the beta!

Incongruous amid the Medbay’s tech, a beautiful dream catcher of blue and white hung over one of the beds. Under it, Leonard was finally getting some real sleep, with what Gideon said were normal dreams instead of amulet-inspired nightmares.

He’d grumbled a little at Gideon’s ordering him to bed, but Sara thought it was mainly for form’s sake. A way of asserting some control for himself after being under Darhk’s control for so long. The grumbling disappeared when Gideon told him he was on the brink of permanent memory damage.

Once in the Medbay, he fell asleep so quickly that Sara was alarmed until Gideon reassured her that it was an expected result of his ordeal. The AI said a night’s worth of dream cycles would restore the balance to his brain chemistry.

Lisa covered him with a silvery blanket. “Now I know how he felt the times he sat up and watched over me,” she said. She moved to the other bed, picking up a tablet borrowed from Cisco. “When I had the chicken pox, he stayed up all night until my fever broke, and played my favorite movies for me on the VCR. I thought I’d watch one of them now while I wait for him.”

She turned the tablet screen toward Sara, who grinned to see the title shot of _Labyrinth_.

Lisa grinned back, the smile turning a bit wistful as her gaze moved back to her brother’s sleeping form. “He was just a teenager then, but he really tried to make up for our rotten dad.” She looked back at Sara. “I envy you, having a great dad who loves you.”

“Loves me in spite of everything I’ve done,” Sara reflected.

“I hear love is supposed to be unconditional,” Lisa observed. “You should go spend some time with your dad. I’ll call you when Lenny wakes up.”

Sara nodded, looking at Leonard one more time. She started to lean toward him, then stopped herself.

“Go ahead and kiss him,” Lisa laughed. “I won’t give you a hard time.”

“Don’t give _him_ a hard time either!” Sara returned, leaning down to kiss Leonard’s forehead. When she looked back up at Lisa, the wistful smile was back.

“I won’t,” Lisa promised. She settled onto the bed, popping in a pair of earbuds to watch her movie while Sara went to find her father.

* * *

Sara was glad she wouldn’t have to give her father an amnesia pill after this tour of the Waverider. But the whole time, he seemed far more interested in looking at Sara than at any of the future tech that had amazed the team the first time they came on board. They wound up talking in the galley, where he watched her over his coffee cup with an intentness that was starting to make her feel self-conscious.

“What is it, Dad?”  
  
He smiled. “Just proud of my beautiful daughter,” he said. “And I’m glad to see you like this. You’re happy. It’s the first time in a long time that you haven’t looked like you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Laurel would be proud of you too.”

“I hope so,” she said.

Quentin’s phone began beeping. He pulled it from his pocket and sighed. “My civic duties call. I have to fill in for Oliver at a meeting.”

“Where’s Ollie?” Sara asked as they began to walk toward the main hatch.

“He and Diggle joined some of your team to escort Malcolm to ARGUS custody. Lyla says she’s lined up the most secure transport in the country.”

“Not the most secure _prison_ in the country?” Sara asked.

Quentin snorted. “I don’t think they’ll be holding him in this country. Thea still says he should be dropped into a deep, dark hole.”

Sara nodded. “She’s right. And I think I have a pretty good idea which one they’ll use.” Oliver had told her about the ARGUS facility on Lian Yu.

“Yeah, well, I hope he’ll never be able to crawl back out,” Quentin said. “Thea needs some kind of peace. She was pretty upset after talking to him down in your brig. Says he didn’t have one speck of remorse, even when she pointed out that reversing Rebecca’s death would probably erase her from the timeline.”

He shook his head. “I can’t imagine any kind of father being willing to wipe his child out of existence.”  
  
Sara looked over at her father speculatively. “You’ve become pretty close to Thea, haven’t you?”

He smiled. “Kind of surprising, considering our history, but yeah. She’s got a big heart and a lot of patience for an old man who keeps making mistakes.”

“You’ve got a big heart too,” Sara said, nudging him with her shoulder. “Think you’ve got room in it for one more person?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You mean your guy Leonard?”

She was surprised to feel herself flush. “Dad…”

“Oh, I know,” he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. “You just got him back and you two have a lot to hash out. But I know having him back is the reason you look so happy right now. As long as he makes you happy, I can make room for him.”

Sara wrapped an arm around his waist and gave him a squeeze. “I do appreciate that, Dad. But I was actually thinking about his sister, Lisa. She needs some peace, too.”

He looked down at her in surprise. “And some kind of father figure? Barry and Cisco already told me what she grew up with.”

She nodded. “The dreamwalk gave me some idea of what Leonard went through at Lewis’ hands, so I can imagine what it must have been like for Lisa. I think she could use some kindness.”

He nodded as they reached the hatch. “All right. I can do that. The way you look at Leonard, I have a feeling I’m going to see a lot of her in the future anyway. Family barbecues, birthdays, Christmas dinner…”  
  
Sara chuckled. “Let’s ease them into that sort of thing, Dad. They never really had family, except for Mick. And… you know we’ll have to include him too?” 

Quentin furrowed his brow as he considered that. “Maybe we’ll wait a while on the barbecues…”

* * *

A few hours later, after Sara had gotten some much-needed sleep of her own, Gideon informed her that Leonard was awake, with his brain chemistry restored to normal. “But he asks that you wait an hour before coming to the Medbay,” she said. “He says you will understand why when you arrive.”

The hour gave her time to shower and dress. And to get a little nervous about the conversation she and Leonard had been avoiding for far too long.

_“What about your feelings?”_

_“About you?”_

_“About Mick.”_

Well, maybe Leonard hadn’t been the one avoiding the conversation.

_“I started to wonder what the future might hold for me. And you. And me and you.”_

_“You want to steal a kiss from me, Leonard? You’d better be one hell of a thief.”_

She didn’t know if those scenes had played themselves out over and over again in his mind during his months with the Legion, the way they had in her guilt-filled dreams on that terrible night after the Oculus… and the many terrible nights that followed. She hoped he remembered her words to him in the dreamwalk.

_“I want you for_ you _. And that_ is _all your fault.”_

She hoped he remembered the kiss that followed those words.

And most of all, she hoped he still wanted to resume that conversation he’d started in her room so long ago.

She met Cisco on her way to the Medbay. The young engineer was still filled with wide-eyed nerdy excitement as he looked around the ship.

At least he wasn’t drooling.

He greeted her with a wide smile, holding up a flash drive. “Came up with improvements for the Heat and Cold Guns. Captain Hunter said I could use the fabricator to make some of the parts.” He chuckled. “Never thought I’d see the day when I’d willingly help Captain Cold and Heatwave with their weapons.”

Sara smiled at that. Lisa had filled her in on Cisco’s… colorful past with what Barry referred to as “the rogue’s gallery." 

_“Miracles abound on this old time ship,”_ Rip had said once.

She supposed this was another.

“You probably ought to let Leonard and Mick actually see what you’re planning before you go tinkering with their guns,” she advised as they rounded the corner near the Medbay entrance.

“Tinkering with whose guns?” Mick asked, coming out of the Medbay. “What are you up to, Nerd Boy?”  
  
Cisco put his hands up in a calming gesture. “Nothing bad, Mick. You’ll like it.”  
  
“Cisco! Look!”

Lisa Snart burst out of the Medbay with a huge smile. She was pulling the neckline of her top over in a way that made Sara wrinkle her brow in curiosity. Then she glanced over at Cisco, to see a wide smile growing. She looked back at Mick, who just smirked.

“They’re all gone!” Lisa said excitedly, readjusting her top. She looked over at Sara. “Did you know Gideon can remove old scars?”  
  
Ahhh. Sara nodded. “She can replace missing hands, too.”

“Whaaaa?” Cisco’s voice rose in surprise.

Lisa smiled and patted his shoulder. “I’ll explain on the way to the fabrication room, Cisco. Gideon said she’d make me something strapless. I’ve never been able to wear anything strapless before!”

She started to pull Cisco down the hall. Mick rolled his eyes. “I’ll make sure they don’t get lost,” he told Sara. He jerked his head toward the Medbay. “Boss is waiting for you.”

He set off after the younger couple. Sara took a breath and let it out, squared her shoulders and walked into the Medbay.

Leonard’s bed had been adjusted to be completely flat. He lay on his stomach in a pair of light pajama pants, head pillowed on his forearms and eyes closed. Blue light played over his shirtless skin, erasing old cigarette burns, the ugly welts left behind by sharp weapons, the crater of a long-ago gunshot wound.

This was the most exposed she’d ever seen him, and she took in a breath of surprise. He opened one eye at the sound. “Gideon just has to finish my back,” he said.

She remembered that some of the scars on his chest and stomach extended down past his belt line. Probably the reason he’d wanted her to wait to see him. But even now, she felt she was intruding, seeing him even this exposed. “I should… I should let you…” she said awkwardly, averting her eyes. 

“Sara. Look at me.” His voice was gentle. When she looked back, both of his eyes were open. “You’ve already seen the mess inside my head, and that’s a lot worse than anything you’ll see here. Stay.”

He held out his right hand. “Please?”

She nodded and took his hand in her own. He smiled and closed his eyes again, then grunted and tightened his grip convulsively when the light reached one of the larger, deeper scars just below his left shoulder blade.

“Does it hurt?” Sara asked softly.

“Not as much as getting it did,” he answered. He winced again.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Snart,” Gideon said. “The deeper scar tissue will be more painful to eradicate.”

“It’s okay, Gideon,” he answered. “It’s worth it. Those scars are memories I don’t need.”

“The procedure will be complete in a few more minutes.”

“All right. Sara can keep me distracted.” He met Sara’s eyes again. “So, Mick says Rip went and made some deal with that… shaman… to get me back.”

Sara nodded. “He did, and the whole team agreed.”

“Even the newbies?”

“Mmm-hmm,” she said. “Your switching sides won them over.”

“So now I owe everybody…” he said, letting out a grunt that might have been displeasure. Or maybe just another reaction to Gideon’s repair work.

“You don’t,” she interrupted, holding up a finger when he opened his mouth to object. “But we knew you would think that you do. So everyone came up with how they want you to repay them.”

He snorted. “Really?”

She chuckled. “Well, almost everyone. Mick says he lost track on your ledger a long time ago, and he’ll settle for you never knocking him out again.”

“I’m not making any promises,” Leonard drawled.

“He said you’d say that. Now, Rip wants you to stop questioning his orders for just one day.”

“Do I have to be awake for that day?”

She wrinkled her brow thoughtfully. “Well, he didn’t actually say you did…”

“Saved by a technicality! So who’s next?”

“Jax wants you to go with him to a Super Bowl game. He spent a lot of time in the library researching and came up with Super Bowl III. Says it was one of the best games ever and it happened before both of you were born.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad…”

“And Stein wants to visit Vegas in the Rat Pack era. He says the drinks and his poker stake are on you.”

Leonard chuckled at that. “I’ve seen the man play cards. It would be a better investment than stock in Palmer Tech.”

“Speaking of which… Ray originally wanted one week with no insults.” She smirked when he rolled his eyes. “I said it would be easier for you to go a week without breathing. So he settled for something you’ll probably find just as painful, but at least it’ll be quick.” She paused, still smirking, while Leonard raised an eyebrow. “Ray just wants a hug,” she said at last.

He groaned and closed his eyes again. “Can Lisa give it to him? I think he’s her type… nerdy science geek.”

“No,” Sara said firmly. “You’re gonna have to cowboy up. Speaking of which… Nate heard the stories about your sharpshooting back in Salvation and wants some shooting lessons.”

“Hmm. I can do that,” Leonard said, his eyes still closed. “What about the other newbies?”

“Rex and Amaya say you saved their lives by shooting Thawne off their backs in that last battle, so you’re square.”

“Mmm-hmm. So that just leaves you.” He opened his eyes again, and in them she saw a familiar, warm light. The same one she’d seen when he’d finally met her eyes while talking about the future.

Their future.

There was no way for her to deflect this time.

Nor did she want to.

She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a beeping sound. The blue light that had been running over his back went out. “Procedure complete, Mr. Snart,” Gideon announced.

“Thanks, Gideon,” Leonard said, rolling to his left side with a slight hiss and using his left arm to push himself to a sitting position, while still holding on to Sara’s hand with his right. The move pulled her closer into his personal space than he usually allowed, with just a few memorable exceptions. Huddling together for warmth in the engine room, for one. And there were those few kisses they’d shared; at the Oculus, on that rooftop in Coast City, and at the gala in Star City.

But this time, he was wearing so much less, and her skin tingled with the awareness of it, even though only their hands were touching. “What do you want, Sara?” he whispered, his breath warm against her face.

She smiled softly. “I want to see what the future might hold for me and you.” 

With a soft smile of his own, he leaned in and kissed her, his right hand still holding her left, his left hand cupping her cheek as he pulled away just slightly to change the angle and kiss her again. She started to slide her free hand up his back, but he pulled away from her with a low grunt of pain.

“I am sorry, Mr. Snart,” Gideon said. “I should have reminded you the new skin would be sensitive for a while, just as it was when your hand was regenerated.”

“Leonard, I’m sorry,” Sara said, stepping back just a little.

He waved the apology off. “Don’t be. You didn’t know. I did, but I was willing to risk it.” He brought her hand to his lips to kiss it. “Definitely worth it.”  
  
She glanced at their joined hands, and cocked her head at the four scar lines still running across his, from the cuts she’d given him with her own nails during that knife fight in Coast City. “You’re keeping those?”

He turned their hands so he could consider the scars. Finally, he said, “I got rid of the scars that only gave me memories of pain and fear. These… you could say these are memories of hope and… love.”

His eyes flicked up to meet hers, as if to gauge her reaction. She answered with another soft smile, and he went on, “I started remembering you… _us_ … the day you gave me these. So, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll keep ‘em.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, starting to lean forward, but then hesitating. When he raised an eyebrow, she said, “I’m not sure where it’s safe to touch you.”  
  
He smirked and tapped his lips. “Right here will do for now,” he said. 

She smiled and kissed him again. He gave her a real smile when they parted, then looked up at the ceiling and said, “Gideon, am I clear to leave the Medbay?”

“Yes, Mr. Snart. There’s a bottle of healing lotion for your regenerated skin in the pharmacy cabinet. I’m sure Miss Lance can help you with the areas you cannot reach.”

Sara exchanged a surprised look with Leonard over the AI’s tone. “Was that innuendo, Gideon?” she asked as she went over to the cabinet to retrieve the bottle.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Gideon answered primly.

“Of course you don’t,” Leonard chuckled as he slid off the bed, which returned to its normal configuration. A shirt matching his pajama pants lay on the other bed, and he pulled that on while Sara took the dreamcatcher off the wall. Leonard raised a curious eyebrow.

“A parting gift from Constantine,” she told him. “For the nights we need help keeping the darkness away.”

He walked over and took a closer look at the dream catcher, running one gentle finger over the delicate webbing and the soft white feathers. “That woman… the shaman… She said the nightmares wouldn’t be able to control me, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone.”

He tapped his temple. “There’s still a lot of bad stuff in here, Sara. A lot of darkness.”

“I know. But you’re not the only one with a headful of bad memories,” she said, reaching up to wrap his hand in her own. “What was it Esrin said? To find the light, you must dare the darkness.”

He nodded and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “And when the darkness gets really bad?” he asked in a low tone.

She smiled. “Well, Len, those are the nights I’ll just have to love you a little more.”


End file.
